Nowadays, it’s not uncommon for people to make online connections casually. Still, making the switch from swiping to messaging can be a bit scary, mainly when you’re looking for no-strings fun. How can you suggest meeting up in a way that isn’t too direct or offensive? When is it better to give certain details to a business versus others? How do you know when to make flirty or suggestive gestures?
Learning the proper way to start casual chats can stop embarrassing mistakes that can cause conversations to fall apart. If you consider your tone, when to send a message, consent, and personal limits, your words will create interesting responses instead of turning the other person off immediately. Whether you’re navigating a dating app or exploring casual encounters Edmonton has to offer, this article explores dos and don’ts for crafting captivating yet respectful introductory and follow-up messages when pursuing informal relationships online.
Crafting Your Opening Line
The first thing you say helps shape the rest of the conversation. Although humor is good, telling sexual or inappropriate jokes right away is usually a bad idea with potential partners. While coming up with a good icebreaker message:
DO:
- Personalize it based on their profile. Reference details they shared to indicate you read it.
- Keep it light yet thoughtful. Ask an open-ended question about a hobby or interest of theirs.
- Watch your tone. Be casual but not pushy, crude, or aggressive.
DON’T:
- Use generic pickup lines. Overused phrases communicate a lack of effort or sincerity.
- Lead with intense physical compliments. Commenting solely on someone’s looks can feel objectifying.
- Make assumptions or suggest a meeting too quickly. Take conversations step by step.
Pro Tip: Your goal is to make them smile and encourage further chatting, not overwhelm them. Give a playful compliment, then ask about something they mentioned enjoying.
Steering the Conversation
Once you receive a response, the messaging back-and-forth begins. Nurturing natural dialogue builds rapport and increases comfort levels for eventually meeting up. As the exchange progresses:
DO:
- Keep questions and share reciprocally. Don’t pepper them with questions without volunteering information about yourself as well.
- Listen and reflect thoughtfully. If they share a story, reference what stood out to you, and ask follow-up questions rather than immediately redirecting back to yourself.
- Keep things lighthearted. Sprinkle in some gentle humor once you’ve established a bit of banter.
DON’T:
- Be sure to reveal your personal or emotional feelings at the beginning of each conversation. Moving forward too quickly in intimacy can make someone uncomfortable.
- Talk about subjects that people often disagree on, such as politics or religion. Start the first talks by asking about casual hobbies and what someone enjoys.
- Let your partner know what you want sexually as soon as you can. It’s important to develop a friendly relationship before discussing business.
Pro Tip: Display emotional intelligence by truly listening, responding thoughtfully, and respecting boundaries. This builds trust and chemistry.
Initiating Flirtation
Once you’ve exchanged several messages about hobbies, tastes in entertainment, life in your city, or other neutral topics, you can start blending in some flirtatious banter to hint at physical attraction and gauge their interest. When spurring playful flirtation:
DO:
- Compliment their personality, versus only their looks. For example, praise their sense of humor or adventurous interests.
- Use gentle innuendo that leaves room for interpretation. For example, “I bet you look just as captivating in person”, or “I’d love to see your sweet dance moves sometime.”
- Flirt more heavily if they reciprocate with interest. But pull back if messages seem less enthusiastic.
DON’T:
- Include sexual terms or pictures in your advertising. Graphic descriptions may make some students uncomfortable now.
- Send private photos of yourself or ask for theirs without being asked. This goes against someone’s personal boundaries.
- Assume when someone flirts, they are hoping to see you in person. Sometimes, they only mean to have fun with flirting, not actually go on a date.
Pro Tip: Mirror their tone and level of flirtatiousness to gauge boundaries. Dial it up or down based on the nature of their responses.
Asking to Meet Up
Once tension builds through flirty and engaging dialogue, one of you will ultimately need to politely propose meeting in person if you hope to advance toward a casual encounter. When suggesting getting together:
DO:
- Suggest a drink or coffee as a way to keep things easy. Have your first meeting somewhere that doesn’t cost much.
- Meeting at a bar gives more opportunities than meeting at home on your first date. The majority of people find this to be safer.
- Try not to demand, but use “I’d love to” or “Only if you want to” instead.
DON’T:
- Immediately get sexual about activities you hope to do together on a date. Keep the initial invitation low-key.
- Let them know you are upset when they refuse or put off meeting up. Probably, they require a bit more time to feel comfortable in the chat.
- Try to meet at a late hour or somewhere that’s not crowded with people. This situation can create safety problems.
Pro Tip: If they decline but seem interested in keeping the conversation going, they may simply need more time before feeling secure to meet a stranger from the internet. Let conversations progress organically without applying relationship pressure.
The Bottom Line
If you show empathy, patience, and emotional intelligence in your online interactions, you will have better chances of meeting everyone’s needs in a casual encounter. Even though sexual chemistry can start right away for some, it takes building trust and comfort step by step, always following mutual consent, not just what’s assumed.
If you are not sure what to do, remember the principles you’d like others to follow when you interact with them. If you are clear, kind, and playful, your messages will help you make exciting connections that lead to enjoyable and possible moments.
